mayumisatosan
  • guys: uh why do girls care so much about being skinny? it's so annoying
  • guys: ew fat chicks
  • guys: why do girls care so much about shopping and romance and nail polish lol so annoying
  • guys: ew crazy butch lesbian manly feminazis why can't they act more feminine lol
  • guys: why do girls wear makeup they look so much better without it
  • guys: oh i'm so sorry are you sick? tired? dying?
  • guys: haha girls suck at math/science/sports
  • guys: a girl who does math/science/sports? well? get back in the kitchen that shits not gonna get you a husband
  • guys: why are girls so sensitive when we look at their boobs or something c'mon with that top you're asking for it
  • guys: oh my god a gay guy just hit on me how fucking disgusting what a creeper doesn't he have any boundaries?
mayumisatosan

thepageofhopes:

misanthropicshenanigans:

inconsistentblogger:

I want to get people into Welcome to Night Vale, but it’s so hard to sell like “hey if you like gay radio show hosts and totalitarian goverents and clouds that drop dead animals on small desert towns then boy do I have a show for you”

I usually settle for “Neil Gaiman, Stephen King and George Orwell run a Sim City”

I usually go with ‘it’s like if nowhere from courage the cowardly dog had a radio station’

mayumisatosan
  • 90s Animal Planet: Animals are cool, kids! They can be your friends! But watch out, some are dangerous! Ooh, watch Jeff Corwin handle the most venomous snake in Africa! Aw, look at the tiger babies! Oh, let's learn about conserving the environment! Remember kids, we must respect this planet, because it's the animals' home as well!
  • 2013 Animal Planet: ANIMALS WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. And guess what? PARASITES WILL TOO! Yes I know those aren't really animals, I guess. OH YEAH HERE'S SOME PSEUDO-SCIENCE ABOUT BIGFOOT. He's an animal too, right? WATCH THIS WOMAN GET EATEN BY HER PET CHIMPANZEE. ANIMALS ARE SCARY, KIDS. BE CAUTIOUS AROUND YOUR PET LIZARD OK. oh look kittens!
  • 2014 Animal Planet: WHO WANTS TO BUILD A FUCKING TREEHOUSE?
  • ~~~~~
  • 90s History Channel: Here kids, we're gonna talk about this society today. History from all time periods and all countries. Isn't this stuff fascinating? Watch us dig up a tomb!
  • Early 2000's History Channel: So there's this guy named Hitler. And he's pretty bad. Let us tell you how bad Hitler is. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. More Hiltler. Hey have you heard about this guy named Hitler?
  • 2013 History Channel: Aliens moonshiners aliens rednecks aliens pawnshops aliens aliens aliens hey have we mentioned aliens because aliens
  • 2014 History Channel: Was Hitler an Alien?